The voices are back and this time their stronger
Their shouting their laughing it’s lasting much longer
It’s all in my head? “IT’S REAL IT’S REAL”!
I’m going insane it’s ok no big deal
“You’re stupid and ugly and thick and a bitch”
It’s getting too much my eyes start to twitch
There’s one voice no two now three and four
I can’t cope with this I can’t take much more
I trusted you
I believed a lie
You said you wanted me
You'd give us a try
But you're like the others
All boys the same
I was your counter
Love was the game
I blame myself
You're too good for me
In my lonely dreams
It's only you I see
I still delude myself
Say just give you time
Tell myself you love me
That soon you'll be mine
Shame it's just a fantasy
You don't give a damn
I'm not your lady
And you'll never be my man
Looking back at the past 3 years or so,
The things I used to feel.
I couldn't face reality,
I didn't know what was real.
I remember trying to end it,
I don't know what went wrong.
Hiding blood and tears,
Cutting to 'that song'.
I hurt so many people,
Lost so many friends.
Came across closed doors,
Too many dead ends.
I didn't trust anyone,
I locked it all inside.
But look at me now,
I hold my scars with pride.
Because I came out fighting,
When I never thought I would.
I fought my way to the top,
When I didn't think I could.
The futures big and bold and bright
It's a chance to find my shining light
Can't stay in a moment time keeps ticking past
Looking towards my future its coming so fast
What will happen what will I be
Why can't I realise why cant I see?
What will I turn into will I be good or bad
Will I be a disappointment or will I be mad
Will I be a mummy or will I fail at all
Will I have a happy ending or will my dreams crash and fall
empty feelings can't go on
an incomplete soul i don't belong
my breathe is wasted my tears run dry
heaven or hell i just wonna die
i look in my reflection and already see a ghost
my body is nothing but an innocent host
yet still i cut it i tear it apart
i got attached and trusted its heart
oh what a mistake .. i fell in love
it felt like the angels were watching above
but then things got funny and everything changed
my emotions scattere my brain re-arranged
i want to esape this host so i can be free
to express myself and find the real me
You stood there laughing
Whilst I drowned in my tears
You promised you loved me
We'd be forever, for years
But now you're just playing me
You're leading me on
It's just not right
It's just plain wrong
If you want her
Then please just leave
It would be easier
I could finally grieve
Instead of getting my hopes up
Only for them to crash and fall
You are my life
My heart my body my all
But I can't take the pain
I can't take the lies
Because I've pieced it all together
I know the truth I can be wise
So please my love
Just tell me how you feel
Because I know your love for me
Is no longer real
You found me broken
And made me whole
I was scared and fragile
Like a china doll
I started to trust you
I let you in
You mended me
Not a single sin
But then you changed
Started hacking away
But I still loved you
Begged you to stay
All the puddles of blood
I cleaned and forgot
But now I'll leave it
My body will rot
But still my hearts yours
Even though you left and moved on
Without a single care
Of what you've done
So you mislead me
You made me believe
All the lies
Never thought you'd deceive
So I'm not perfection
I never will be
I'm stupid and broken
But that's just me
Although you're in the wrong
I blame myself
Is it my weight or image
Or lack of wealth
There must be something
I just need to know
You don't just decide
To pack up and go
So release my hand
I'll fly away
To a land with no fear
I'll see you all day
You could be happy
Wild and free
I could see you
But you can't see me
For I'm long gone
Never coming back
I got caught up in a dream
And fell off track
You don't want me now
Too many miles apart
I thought our love was true
A sure feeling from the heart
broken hearted girl by shatterd-soul-13, literature
Literature
broken hearted girl
you were the best i loved you so
why did this happen why did you go
so many laughs shared through the years
now you've left im here in tears
my heart is left broken into so many shards
i thought it'd work if i played the right cards
but now your gone im sitting here weeping
without you here i am not sleeping
you said forever i guess you lied
all the wasted tears that i have cried
you were my everything body and soul
you foud my broken and made me whole
you left me now so very fast
i truely belived it would go on and last
so now im lying here on this bed
without you here im better off dead
The voices are back and this time their stronger
Their shouting their laughing it’s lasting much longer
It’s all in my head? “IT’S REAL IT’S REAL”!
I’m going insane it’s ok no big deal
“You’re stupid and ugly and thick and a bitch”
It’s getting too much my eyes start to twitch
There’s one voice no two now three and four
I can’t cope with this I can’t take much more
I trusted you
I believed a lie
You said you wanted me
You'd give us a try
But you're like the others
All boys the same
I was your counter
Love was the game
I blame myself
You're too good for me
In my lonely dreams
It's only you I see
I still delude myself
Say just give you time
Tell myself you love me
That soon you'll be mine
Shame it's just a fantasy
You don't give a damn
I'm not your lady
And you'll never be my man
Looking back at the past 3 years or so,
The things I used to feel.
I couldn't face reality,
I didn't know what was real.
I remember trying to end it,
I don't know what went wrong.
Hiding blood and tears,
Cutting to 'that song'.
I hurt so many people,
Lost so many friends.
Came across closed doors,
Too many dead ends.
I didn't trust anyone,
I locked it all inside.
But look at me now,
I hold my scars with pride.
Because I came out fighting,
When I never thought I would.
I fought my way to the top,
When I didn't think I could.
The futures big and bold and bright
It's a chance to find my shining light
Can't stay in a moment time keeps ticking past
Looking towards my future its coming so fast
What will happen what will I be
Why can't I realise why cant I see?
What will I turn into will I be good or bad
Will I be a disappointment or will I be mad
Will I be a mummy or will I fail at all
Will I have a happy ending or will my dreams crash and fall
empty feelings can't go on
an incomplete soul i don't belong
my breathe is wasted my tears run dry
heaven or hell i just wonna die
i look in my reflection and already see a ghost
my body is nothing but an innocent host
yet still i cut it i tear it apart
i got attached and trusted its heart
oh what a mistake .. i fell in love
it felt like the angels were watching above
but then things got funny and everything changed
my emotions scattere my brain re-arranged
i want to esape this host so i can be free
to express myself and find the real me
You stood there laughing
Whilst I drowned in my tears
You promised you loved me
We'd be forever, for years
But now you're just playing me
You're leading me on
It's just not right
It's just plain wrong
If you want her
Then please just leave
It would be easier
I could finally grieve
Instead of getting my hopes up
Only for them to crash and fall
You are my life
My heart my body my all
But I can't take the pain
I can't take the lies
Because I've pieced it all together
I know the truth I can be wise
So please my love
Just tell me how you feel
Because I know your love for me
Is no longer real
You found me broken
And made me whole
I was scared and fragile
Like a china doll
I started to trust you
I let you in
You mended me
Not a single sin
But then you changed
Started hacking away
But I still loved you
Begged you to stay
All the puddles of blood
I cleaned and forgot
But now I'll leave it
My body will rot
But still my hearts yours
Even though you left and moved on
Without a single care
Of what you've done
So you mislead me
You made me believe
All the lies
Never thought you'd deceive
So I'm not perfection
I never will be
I'm stupid and broken
But that's just me
Although you're in the wrong
I blame myself
Is it my weight or image
Or lack of wealth
There must be something
I just need to know
You don't just decide
To pack up and go
So release my hand
I'll fly away
To a land with no fear
I'll see you all day
You could be happy
Wild and free
I could see you
But you can't see me
For I'm long gone
Never coming back
I got caught up in a dream
And fell off track
You don't want me now
Too many miles apart
I thought our love was true
A sure feeling from the heart
broken hearted girl by shatterd-soul-13, literature
Literature
broken hearted girl
you were the best i loved you so
why did this happen why did you go
so many laughs shared through the years
now you've left im here in tears
my heart is left broken into so many shards
i thought it'd work if i played the right cards
but now your gone im sitting here weeping
without you here i am not sleeping
you said forever i guess you lied
all the wasted tears that i have cried
you were my everything body and soul
you foud my broken and made me whole
you left me now so very fast
i truely belived it would go on and last
so now im lying here on this bed
without you here im better off dead
The Girls I Babysit:
Carly: What are those? (pointing to my scars on my wrist)
Me: They're battle scars.
Anna: Cool! Can I have some?
Me: Please don't ever get some okay? But when you see someone with them like the ones I have on their wrists go hug them. Don't ever make fun of them okay?
As we're walking around Wal Mart with both of them holding my hands, a young girl walks by us. Carly and Anna go and hug her. She hugs these two adorable little girls back
Girl: Why are you hugging me?
Carly: You have battle scars. *points to her wrists*
And through her tears she looks up at me and smiles.
So I'm on here again but I am shocked by the amount of horrible people on here!
I'm getting people having an argument because poems I wrote 3-4 years ago have some spelling mistakes etc. The thing is I wrote them as a release... NOT anything else.
I have told people once and I will tell them again if you don't like what is on my page, get off of it. I don't need you commenting horribly on what I put or 'trolling' it, just get off and move on with your life.
I'm not some 14 year old little girl any more I'm 18. I'm an adult.
Anyway, moving on from that, so much has changed!
I'm hoping to be back on here for good now and upload stuff from
I got the job and it's good money to so I start that on the 21st (next monday) and I'm meeting the head chef and the people in the kitchen tomorrow so I'm looking foward to that. :D Although it means I have to quit army cadets and karate :(
I mentioned previously that I wanted to learn guitar and drums well.... I found a guitar pack for 99 pounds (which is really good) and it's the aria stg... I'm thinking of getting it :P and to make things even better there is a band on the island I live on that I think is amazing and the lead singer is like amazingly fit and he does guitar lessons so as soon as I have some more money I'm gonna be doing th
Just a little look into the life of me:
I've been staying up really late recently and I just don't know why... I seem more awake at night and I usually have better conversations with people. I feel like a vampire...
I had a interview today at a hotel for a chef apprentiship as a chef. I REALLY hope I get it but I'm scared that I wont so I'm not going to get my hopes up.
Boys: Well I just don't know what to do anymore.. There was this boy about a month ago that I got close to but then about 2 weeks ago he said I was lying about stuff and that he would never go out with me and that 'i was just a stepping stone' to a girl that is pretty much